Perfectly Imperfect Me

So, here it is, half way through 2022 and I haven’t written a blog in days, no weeks, no – let’s be honest here – MONTHS! It has been on my calendar and in my day planner and yet, I have not completed it. So here I sit in front of my laptop, preparing to be all creative and such, with all of these thoughts swirling in my head…

“You suck. Haven’t blogged in months. Have nothing to say. Who will read it anyway? So many others blog better than me. I don’t have enough courage to share my stories. This is stupid, it is a waste of time, I am a coward…”

This annoying little voice rambles on and on at a pace of the speed of light, taking no breaths and knowing no limits. This voice can drown out the sound of a train barreling full speed towards me. This voice can move my body to do things that it doesn’t want to do and my mouth to say things that just aren’t true. This voice is one of comparison and criticism whose only job is to keep me stuck. This voice likes to take over my head and refuses to pay rent!

SO I SAY NO! NOT TODAY! 

I am worth so much more than what this voice wants to tell me. I can choose not to listen to this voice which wants me to feel like I am not enough. I have the choice to question the voice, to call out the bullshit in the story it tells me and to shut it up!

I also do not need to compare myself to anyone else out there.  I can limit not only my self talk but my exposure to social media and other platforms where comparison is the culture. None of it truly matters anyway. Social Media can be summed up as an illusion of life in the environment of a petri dish. People present what they want to present and people see what they want to see. A community protected by the wall of a screen and the barriers of geographical distance. A sense of safety to not have to be who you truly are, so that you can avoid the consequences of who you truly are. Voices of criticism and comparison are amplified here.

However, I do have a choice. We all have a choice.

It is possible to compare myself only to myself. It is possible to be courageous, fight through the voice and the illusions to share my true being. It takes courage to be who you are, not what the world wants you to be, or what you think people want to see. It takes courage to be the authentic you, at your core with vulnerability and truth. It is through all this courage that the gift of love shows up. Love for yourself, others and the world around you. When you choose love, dear one, you are courageous.

Today, I choose love. Love drowns out that other not-so-important-voice-after-all. Love is a sweet melody and a tender touch, from me to me. Love always wins over the voice of comparison and criticism both within my internal and external worlds. Love for myself from myself through an act of courage and kindness.

So, I place my hands on my heart, take a deep breath filled with unconditional love for me, from me. Perfectly imperfect and courageous, loving me.
​Now, it’s time to blog again.